Just wanted to give a heads up that I’ve moved all my writing over to Substack. It’s slightly different than a blog in that you can read an entire post right in your email inbox, in addition to their website and smartphone app. Also, there are subscription tiers, but you...
At some point earlier in the year, I declared that my book would be published by the end of 2022. Absolutely, definitely, no-doubt-about-it that thing was as good as done, mark my words. However… …unless an extraordinary amount of unusual productivity happens in the next two days, I will have...
About twenty years ago, sitting at my parents’ house for Thanksgiving Day dinner, my mother offered me the cranberry sauce. “Mom, when will you finally remember that I hate cranberries?” “You don’t like cranberries?” Dad said. “I don’t like–“ “I know, I know, you don’t like canned cranberries, but you...
On the news last night, I saw an interview of someone who lives directly in the path of Hurricane Nicole. The reporter asked, “Did the devastation of Hurricane Ian affect your thought process about whether to stay or evacuate for this storm?” The local woman just kind of smiled and...
By the time you read this, it’ll be my oldest daughter Sasha’s fifth birthday. And thank God, too, because I’m sick of hearing about the plans for it. I’m not kidding. I think my wife Evi started talking about this shit in February. Over the months there were mentions of...
A couple of weeks ago, I was watching the news with my family and learned that some hurricane–I already forgot its name–missed Florida entirely, but went up the Atlantic and inflicted extreme damage up in Canada. My only real thought at the time was: um…Canada? Yes, Canada. I made some...
In “The Firm”, John Grisham’s phenomenally successful early ‘90s book about a young lawyer who unwittingly took a job with a law firm owned by the mafia, there was a part near the end where the protagonist, Mitch McDeere, and his wife were hiding from both the FBI and mob...
I came home kinda late last night, like around 6:30 PM, to find both my daughters wearing princess costumes. This would probably be surprising to most people, but I didn’t bat an eye; my kids are always dressed up. I don’t know where they get this desire from, and I...
Evi recently instituted a new policy wherein both our kids are graded on their behavior via a color-based system. There’s a letter paper-sized magnet on our refrigerator with horizontal color bars, the middle one being green (I think? I’m not getting up to go look) and as you go down...
I wish I had my kids’ lives. Every day is like a vacation to them. I mean, every single day is amazing. Sasha turns five next month, is in VPK*, and absolutely loves it. When either Evi or I drop her off in the morning, she barely waits for the...
Sometime around late 2005, my sister Lori and I were over at our parents’ house, minding our own business, when out of nowhere Mom attacked us with pictures from her and Dad’s Carnival cruise. There was no way out. The only choice was to endure; telling ourselves it will all...
This morning, Evi and I took the kids to Sky Zone Trampoline Park, where they can jump up and down all they want and I don’t have to yell at them for it. They used to run some kind of special on Sunday mornings where you could bring toddlers for...
One morning last week, Evi made Pillsbury Crescents, which are something like croissants, but with a different name. That’s the only difference I can tell. I imagine that since they don’t use the word ‘croissant’, it must be some cheap imitation, like how they use ‘cheez’ or ‘cheese product’ when...
As I’ve mentioned in past blogs, our family has a…tradition?–yes, I guess it’s a tradition–of going on evening drives with the kids in order to get them to fall asleep. We’ve been getting diminishing returns. Last week we went on one where by the time we pulled back into the...
The first thing I was confronted with this morning–before I even had coffee, for Christ’s sake–was Sasha asking me to “Face Swap”. For those unfamiliar, Face Swap Live is a phone app that will ‘swap’ the faces of two people within the camera frame, along with some other photo trickery....
