7/6/22 Journal: Just Rambling

Whenever I sit down to write one of these blog entries, there’s a good 85% chance I have no idea what I’ll write about. If you’ve been reading me since I rebooted this thing in February, you know I decided to make this a kind of daily diary. That way I get my writing practice in, and as long as somebody keeps paying the web server bill, myself, my family, friends, and whoever the hell else cares can catch up on my life. Hopefully, this damn thing will still be around when I’m no longer. It’d be nice if my daughters can still have access to this well into their adulthoods.

The problem with the diary concept, however, is my life can sometimes be stupid boring. For example, today I put two mortgage loans in the pipeline. Yippee. Nobody wants to read about that. I don’t want to write about it. And even if I did, if I give too many descriptors as to make the client identifiable, I’ll break about a thousand privacy laws. I’d be arrested, imprisoned, and have my license taken away all to tell a story about one of the most boring subjects on Earth: residential finance.

NOTE: One time, I did come up with the concept of a reality show where first-time homebuyers try to qualify for a mortgage. Cameras would follow the clients from application to closing. We’d overcome credit concerns, income stability, low assets, etc. I decided that no lender in their right mind would risk the kind of liability a show like that would have. I’m not sure anyone would want all their private stuff out there in the first place. Not to mention, without the visuals (such as buyer working with Realtors would get to see houses) the show would get incredibly redundant fast.

After work today, I walked out of my home office to see that Hurricane Sasha and Tropical Storm Norah devastated the house while my poor wife Evi was trying to work on her virtual reality project. But again, this isn’t new. It’s damn near a daily occurrence. Sasha and Norah not committing acts of thermonuclear destruction on our house would be something to write about.

So, sometimes I’ll tell a quick story that happened recently. I did that last Thursday when I remembered a conversation Evi and I had a few weeks ago. The thing about that is, sometimes I’ll think of a story and say to myself, holy shit, that’s too good for this stupid blog! That’s gotta go in the book! So I put the idea in the Notes app in my iPhone. I’ve started fleshing some of them out for full, highly-edited essays.

Sigh. The more I invest in the book, the more I want it to not just be some family keepsake, but an actual sales success. I can’t imagine spending months writing stories, pouring my heart into the work, then selling thirty fucking copies. I know that’s arrogant. I know I’m a nobody. Whatever. I guess I’m an arrogant nobody.

On my old Blogspot blog, I’d only write one or two times a week, but I’d pour my heart into making them as funny as possible. At first, I was averaging maybe three or four readers a day. It’s pretty bad when you read your webstats, and you have so few hits you personally know who clicked on your site.

But then one day someone shared one of my posts on a message board, and BAM! 500 hits a day! Then still others discovered the blog. It got to where people complained if I waited too long to post. I eventually felt too much pressure and quit.

The quitting isn’t the point, by the way. The point is, because I made sure every piece was funny, I basically assured myself that blog would eventually take off. Here, I just bang out keyboard vomit every day. It’s hard for me to fully describe how much I half-ass this blog. I guess my writing style is enjoyable for some of you (and seriously, thank you; my God thank you) but since I’m not going all out, this blog is less likely to ever “blow up”.

So how the hell am I going to sell a zillion copies of my book? Do I have to actually try here now?

Hahaha…eleven paragraphs when I had nothing to write about.

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  • July 6, 2022
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