7/21/21 Journal: 4 AM

toilet signage beside green leaf

Admit it, you thought I was going to skip yesterday, didn’t you?

I almost did. I started writing early yesterday morning, got interrupted, then the day just kind of got away from me. It wasn’t until late last night that I was able to finish bitching about the book again. Evi was already asleep. So were most of you, according to my web stats. At least I kept the streak alive.

I woke up at roughly 4 AM and found myself on the couch. I had no idea where my phone was. I hate that because that phone is also my alarm clock, so I need it near me when I sleep. Also, if I don’t get it on a charger, it may not make it to morning. However, I also hate digging around in a pitch black house while trying to not wake up a two and four-year-old from their blissful slumber.

But I had no choice. I had to find the damn thing. I felt around where I fell asleep. Nothing.

I crept into the master bedroom and felt around my bedside table. Nothing.

Both bathrooms, nothing.

Home office, nothing.

Did I leave the stupid thing in the van?

At this point, I started getting upset, because I knew the longer I stayed awake, the harder it will be to fall back asleep. I decided I had no choice but to go outside and see if my stupid ass phone was in our stupid ass van.

I walked out the front door and immediately was blasted with sprinkler water.

Godammit!!! NOW I’m awake!!!

The good news was that I found the stupid ass phone in the stupid ass van. The bad news was that in Cape Coral, FL, if you’re on the “dual water system”, the water that goes in your house is relatively safe drinking water. The water that comes out of your sprinklers is recycled non-potable water.

We call it “poop water”.

And it was dripping down my face.

So I had to go in a bathroom, turn on the lights and wash the hell out of myself.

At that point, I didn’t give a shit if anyone woke up.

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  • July 21, 2022