7/28/22 Journal: Happy Little Accident

Evi and I have more or less decided that two kids is enough. At my age, it’s probably too many, but since there’s nothing we can do about that, we’ve decided to control what we can control and shut the factory down.

Here’s what’s weird: let’s say we have an accident, one slips through the five hole, and Evi gets pregnant again. After all the crying and trauma and screaming of ‘LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO ME!!!’, we’d eventually have a third child. And we would absolutely, positively, fall in love with that child, being eternally grateful for our happy little accident. We would not be able to imagine our life without our new son or daughter, and we’ll thank God, the Universe and everything that we somehow slipped up.

We of course know this because of, well, Norah.

Yeah, that little shit wasn’t planned. I got hired at my current job as a mortgage banker in late 2018, and in doing so had to switch health insurances. At the time we already had Sasha, who was enough of a headache, and I wasn’t switching jobs because I was making too much money, if you get my drift.

Turns out, the new insurance plan provided a different kind of birth control pill for Evi, and it was making her feel ill. So she stopped taking it and made an appointment with her doctor to get a prescription for her preferred stuff. It was only going to take a week or so.


Nine months later, I cut Norah’s umbilical cord. And not a day has gone by since that I’m not filled with happiness that she’s in our life. She and Sasha are the two greatest joys in my life, and I am eternally grateful for our happy little accident. We cannot imagine our life without Norah, and thank God, the Universe and everything we somehow slipped up.

So yes, I know if we had a third, we would again be SO grateful we did.

And we’re actively deciding to not allow that to happen. Isn’t that weird? I mean, you have to stop having kids sometime.

But if I start thinking too long about that child we’ll never have, it feels awful.

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  • July 28, 2022
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