Journal

Last night at midnight, the year was half over. Think about that a second. The year just started. Like weeks ago! And it’s half over already?!? The average life expectancy in the U.S. is 78.79 years, which means you get about 157 of these six months periods in your entire...

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  • July 1, 2022

A couple of weeks ago, Evi and I were on one of our “let’s get these stupid kids asleep” nightly drives when I blurted out the question, “Baby, when did you know you were going to marry me?” “Probably around the pizza thing.” “What?!? That early? We had only had...

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  • June 30, 2022
  • 5

On May 11th, our family drove home from vacationing in Georgia. Along the way, I started feeling a little weak. Had some body aches, cold sweats, and fatigue. My wife Evi felt it a little too. We stopped at Walgreen’s off of the Interstate for some Vitamin C and anything...

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  • June 29, 2022
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A few months ago, my wife Evi mentioned that she’s never been bored in her entire life. “What? You’ve never been bored? Like, ever?” “I don’t remember the last time. Who has time to be bored? I’m always working on something.” I can certainly attest to that statement. In late...

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  • June 28, 2022
  • 4

June is in the running for “Shittiest Month of My Life”. I can not seem to stay healthy. About a week and a half ago, I finally went to the doctor for a cold/cough that had been hanging on for weeks and wouldn’t go away. He gave me antibiotics and...

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  • June 27, 2022
  • 5

It’s 9PM on Wednesday as I type, which is not all that unusual, because I write a lot of these blogs at night and schedule them to autopost the next morning. What is unusual is that I’m writing anything at all when my favorite hockey team, the two-time defending Stanley...

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  • June 23, 2022
  • 1

Evi’s on a “Girl’s Night Out” tonight. She probably does this at least once a month. That’s not counting all the tech meetups she attends at night, where they all meet for a drink afterward. So she’s probably out and about without me two or three times a month. Which...

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  • June 23, 2022
  • 1

I’m entertaining the thought of moving JosephCSimmons.com to Substack. It would be a bit of a project, so I’m not crazy about the idea, but I’m also not crazy about maintaining this website. If you know anything about me, you know I love writing, and hate most everything else. Like...

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  • June 22, 2022
  • 2

I’m going to the dentist tomorrow to finally have my temporary crown replaced with a permanent one. I think I was supposed to get this done three weeks ago, but as I’ve repeatedly posted, I’ve basically been sick the entire month. I think I postponed the procedure twice, as a...

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  • June 21, 2022

A couple of weeks ago, Sasha yelled from the bathroom that she’s “done pooping”. I told her to wipe her own butt, and she started yelling, “I DON’T WANT TO!” “Well, I don’t want to either! You’re four-years-old, it’s time to wipe your own damn butt!” “NO! I WON’T DO...

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  • June 20, 2022
  • 2

Finally went to the doctor yesterday. I felt pretty stupid, since I looked and felt much better. But I’d been telling myself, “Don’t go to the doctor, you’re almost over this” for a week and a half now. And my ‘much better’ still involved a lot of coughing. It was...

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  • June 17, 2022

My phone rang at 12:15 AM. I was already tucked into bed and would’ve been asleep, but luckily my spastic coughing problem was preventing that. Upon hearing it ring, my brain immediately processed the following: My phone is on Do Not Disturb, so it shouldn’t be ringing unless it’s someone...

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  • June 16, 2022

I spent almost all day today thinking it was Monday. It’s kind of understandable, as I spent almost all day yesterday thinking I was in a coma. I’m not sure what the hell I caught, but it’s really sucked. I’ve been sick for over a week and a half, and...

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  • June 15, 2022
  • 3

You thought I wasn’t going to post today, didn’t you? The truth is, I almost forgot. I stayed up pretty late last night, working over Zoom with three non-sports fan comedy writers on an animated pilot script while I was simultaneously watching the Tampa Bay Lightning playing the New York...

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  • June 10, 2022
  • 1

Not even two days after I wrote that we’re a “single-income family”, my wife Evgeniya has completed one virtual reality environment for a client, and sold another one for more than twice the fee as the first. How cool is that? She studied and practiced and never quit learning; now...

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  • June 9, 2022
  • 2

“Oh, that looks amazing! Can we make it? Do you want to try?” Evi was sitting in the passenger seat of our minivan, looking up at an off-road trail in Chattahoochee Oconee National Forest. It was a semi-steep incline, with rock and gravel and a few deep pits. As far...

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  • June 8, 2022

I remember standing inside Checkers restaurant on Chambers Street in Downtown Manhattan, trying to decide what to order, when I realized I could barely afford anything. I had next to no cash, whatever was left in my checking account was needed for a bill of some kind, and my savings...

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  • June 7, 2022
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