Evi

Around 2015, Evgeniya and I were taking in some kind of street festival on Ditmars Blvd. in Astoria, when I caught the faintest glimpse of someone I thought I recognized. I took a another quick glance and, well, her hair was way different, but I think it’s her! It was...

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  • February 6, 2023
  • 3

At some point earlier in the year, I declared that my book would be published by the end of 2022. Absolutely, definitely, no-doubt-about-it that thing was as good as done, mark my words. However… …unless an extraordinary amount of unusual productivity happens in the next two days, I will have...

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  • December 30, 2022
  • 2

By the time you read this, it’ll be my oldest daughter Sasha’s fifth birthday. And thank God, too, because I’m sick of hearing about the plans for it. I’m not kidding. I think my wife Evi started talking about this shit in February. Over the months there were mentions of...

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  • October 24, 2022

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching the news with my family and learned that some hurricane–I already forgot its name–missed Florida entirely, but went up the Atlantic and inflicted extreme damage up in Canada. My only real thought at the time was: um…Canada? Yes, Canada. I made some...

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  • October 5, 2022
  • 2

In “The Firm”, John Grisham’s phenomenally successful early ‘90s book about a young lawyer who unwittingly took a job with a law firm owned by the mafia, there was a part near the end where the protagonist, Mitch McDeere, and his wife were hiding from both the FBI and mob...

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  • September 30, 2022
  • 1

I came home kinda late last night, like around 6:30 PM, to find both my daughters wearing princess costumes. This would probably be surprising to most people, but I didn’t bat an eye; my kids are always dressed up. I don’t know where they get this desire from, and I...

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  • September 22, 2022

Evi recently instituted a new policy wherein both our kids are graded on their behavior via a color-based system. There’s a letter paper-sized magnet on our refrigerator with horizontal color bars, the middle one being green (I think? I’m not getting up to go look) and as you go down...

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  • September 21, 2022

It’s annoying for me to look at this blog and see that the last post was on 9/6. That’s only 13 days ago, but it’s starting to look abandoned, like so many hundreds of thousands of forgotten blogs, gathering dust on the Internet. I swear I won’t allow that to...

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  • September 19, 2022
  • 2

Sometime around late 2005, my sister Lori and I were over at our parents’ house, minding our own business, when out of nowhere Mom attacked us with pictures from her and Dad’s Carnival cruise. There was no way out. The only choice was to endure; telling ourselves it will all...

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  • September 6, 2022
  • 4

One morning last week, Evi made Pillsbury Crescents, which are something like croissants, but with a different name. That’s the only difference I can tell. I imagine that since they don’t use the word ‘croissant’, it must be some cheap imitation, like how they use ‘cheez’ or ‘cheese product’ when...

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  • August 25, 2022
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As I’ve mentioned in past blogs, our family has a…tradition?–yes, I guess it’s a tradition–of going on evening drives with the kids in order to get them to fall asleep. We’ve been getting diminishing returns. Last week we went on one where by the time we pulled back into the...

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  • August 16, 2022
  • 6

On August 5th, late evening had arrived when I realized I hadn’t yet posted a blog. It was a very busy day, and that was really the first chance I’d had to even think about writing. I had quite the streak going: I’d posted every single non-holiday weekday since early...

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  • August 15, 2022
  • 9

“Do you have a place in your mind you go to when you need to de-stress and relax?” Evi asked. I thought for a moment. “You mean some imaginary place, like a beach or meadow?” “It doesn’t have to be imaginary,” she replied. “It could be a place you’ve actually...

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  • August 2, 2022

Last Tuesday, Evi woke up feeling so miserable she asked me to take Norah to her scheduled appointment with the pediatrician. “Park in the back,” my wife said. “I told them Norah hasn’t felt well, so they’re going to come out and give her a Covid test before letting her...

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  • August 1, 2022

Evi and I have more or less decided that two kids is enough. At my age, it’s probably too many, but since there’s nothing we can do about that, we’ve decided to control what we can control and shut the factory down. Here’s what’s weird: let’s say we have an...

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  • July 28, 2022
  • 3

Admit it, you thought I was going to skip yesterday, didn’t you? I almost did. I started writing early yesterday morning, got interrupted, then the day just kind of got away from me. It wasn’t until late last night that I was able to finish bitching about the book again....

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  • July 21, 2022

Okay, you know how I’d been bitching about how I went a month-and-a-half always having some stupid ailment? Well, the Saturday before last it was all over. I woke up, had a cup of coffee, and realized, holy shit, I feel great! Later that afternoon, while wading in the $32...

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  • July 18, 2022