Wednesday night, my wife Evi and I attended our first-ever childbirthing class. I wasn’t exactly excited. Two hours of listening to someone talk about how a woman somehow shoves what looks like a nine-pound ham out of her vagina isn’t my idea of scintillating entertainment. Not to mention, a week...
Evi was lying on the bed, looking miserable. She was on her usual side, with one hand on her pregnant belly, and the other over her eyes. Next to her was a small stack of mini Milky Way bars, all of them unopened. My first thought: Unopened? Something is definitely...
(My wife Evgeniya is standing at the doorway of our room, contemplating the arrangement of our furniture. I’m on my phone playing Clash of Clans.) Evi: “Joe, we need to rearrange the furniture.” Me: “NO we don’t! We just rearranged the furniture three weeks ago! Evi: “It doesn’t feel right. It...
Twitter: “HEY JOE! Great to see you! It’s been months, right?” Me: “Hey Twitter. Sorry it’s been awhile. Anyway, notifications please.” Twitter: “Well, this tweet was interesting and a bunch of your friends liked this tweet and–“ Me: “No no no, I said NOTIFICATIONS. My stuff. I don’t give a...
When Evi and I decided to move from New York City to Cape Coral, Florida last January, we knew we were going to take our time and enjoy the trip. I believe one reason was that we both enjoy road trips; another was we weren’t in any hurry to start...
Evgeniya is sleeping in the passenger seat, clasping her hands above her pregnant belly, just below her breasts. We had a long day of adventures, which I guess wore her out. Her lips appear to almost smile. She looks so damn cute asleep. It occurs to me that at the...
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