About Me

In 1971 I was born, then 2005 happened.

Yes, I realize I’m skipping right over a lot of time, but this is a summary, and while I have some great pre-2005 stories, none of it really applies here. You see, before 2005, my life was pretty much a formulaic, cookie-cutter, American story. Military family, childhood, high school, dating, college, first girlfriend, accounting career, mortgage career, sports car, figuring out life, blah blah blah.

Then, in 2005, while driving said sports car, I ran out of gas.

I started laughing at myself. What an idiot you are, I thought. At the time–as now–I was a huge Dave Barry fan, and loved how he could always poke fun at himself in essays and make it hilarious. I decided right then and there that I had to create a blog and write about my fuel stupidity. Thus, a career in humor was born.

Not a lucrative career, by the way. I’ve made very little money from writing. In 2008, I began performing standup comedy, which increased the income slightly, but that’s like bringing an eyedropper to the Sahara Desert and saying I “increased the dampness slightly”. It still sucked. I always needed a day job.

Performing standup sharpened my wit, but decreased my time and ability to write for print. I never lost the desire, however. There are some ideas I love that simply don’t work on stage, but flow perfectly in text.

AND, I don’t really get on stage anymore. I married an amazing, intelligent, driven, and hilarious woman named Evgeniya in 2016 and we’re starting a family, so I have to be more day-job-y and less broke comic-y.

So, that’s part of why this website exists. I need an outlet for the humor that spews out of my brain . Basically, I’m going to post here what I had been posting on my personal Facebook page for years:

  • Silly jokes
  • Stories about my marriage
  • Stories about my life
  • Stories I totally make up
  • Stories about my wonderful mother, now deceased

And whatever the hell else I want. That’s the beauty of this place. I named it, simply, my name. So anything I want to create fits. Heck, if I start performing rap music, you may see me drop some dope beats here.

Okay, that won’t happen. But hopefully you’ll get a few laughs while you visit.

I love you,