WASHINGTON D.C. (AP) In a stunning development that is sure to reverberate throughout the Beltway, President Donald Trump just terminated the employment of the new Director of the FBI before he or she has even been selected. This potentially sets a dangerous precedent for the powers of the Executive Branch.
“This will be a serious issue for Trump,” said Harvard Political Science Professor Suzanne Skankerton. “Especially since no one is even in the position yet. How do you pre-fire somebody?”
The President took no questions, but did release a statement: “The FBI needs to be led by a winner. How can the next Director be a winner if they haven’t taken the position yet? Taking what you want is a big part of my book, ‘The Art of the Deal’, available at finer bookstores everywhere for $19.99. Obviously, the next Director is a loser, and I don’t want any losers in my government. So, he or she–but let’s be honest, it was going to be a ‘he’–is fired.”
House Speaker Paul Ryan, answering a question from a reporter, seemingly agreed: “President Trump needs to exert the executive authority at his discretion,” he said before adding, “Wait, he didn’t fire me yet, did he?”
“Well, did he?”
When reached for comment outside of the White House, Press Secretary Sean Spicer only said that “it may be four or even eight years before we finally fill the FBI Director position.” He then quickly ducked into some bushes.
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