Girl Scout Mess

Tonight, he walked out of his bedroom and into the living room with a half sleeve of Thin Mints. I was laying on the couch when he handed them to me. “Here,” he said. “You can have these.”

I didn’t really want them, but I knew what was happening: my dad was telling me he loved me. You see, he loves his sweets so much, that he can’t comprehend anyone NOT loving them. To him, he just made a huge gesture. I guess it’s his “love language”. I accepted them, and ate one. He sat on his recliner.

I didn’t know what to do with the rest of them. I’m one of those people who can eat one cookie and just stop. Right at that moment, Sasha walked in the room. I swear she picked up on the Thin Mints by scent. She came up to me immediately. I hesitated, because she’d already had some sugar earlier, it was near her bedtime, and, having Grandpa around, she’s already spoiled too much.

But God, she is so cute. She pointed at the cookies and said, “yaya?”

“Okay, you get ONE.” She took it, smiled, and ran off.

It’s funny; before you’re a parent, you think you know everything about how you’re going to parent. You’ll know what’s right, what’s wrong, what to do and what not to do. Then you become a parent, and you end up ad-libbing the whole damn thing.

Ah, but it was just one cookie. What harm could come from–

“OH MY GOD WHAT DID YOU DO!?!” Evi screamed from the bedroom. “I CAN’T–I JUST CAN’T!”

My wife came out to the living room carrying Sasha, who had chocolate Thin Mint all over her cheeks, nose and forehead. “Sasha just got chocolate all over the blanket I JUST NOW WASHED. How the HELL did she get chocolate?!?”

I slid the sleeve below the blanket I had over me.

“I don’t know, babe. You know I don’t eat that stuff.”

Parenting isn’t that hard. Just make sure you suppress the evidence.