7/11/22 Journal: Defeating the Dark Side of the Force

I finished off the Obi-Wan series on Disney this morning, and thank God I did, because I needed The Force this afternoon.

Oh, everything started out well enough. We bought some water toys last night for the girls to play with in their inflatable pool, so they wanted to jump in and use them. And since it was a hot day and the pool is big enough for a couple of adults, Evi and I jumped in as well. Everything was perfect for a dip.

I don’t remember exactly what led up to this, but at some point I was lying on one side of the pool–completely minding my own business, probably thinking about how I can help donate my time and money to local orphanages–when I was brutally attacked by what I can only describe was the Dark Side of the Force. Seemingly gallons of water was being firehosed on my face and body, and it was so strong I couldn’t see the attacker.

Help me, Obi-Wan, I said.

Use, the Force, Joe.”

Just then, a nanosecond break in the gushing water revealed I was being attacked with two solo cups constantly being refilled and shot at me. Empire weaponry. The attacker was none other than Darth Evi.

While the water kept pulverizing me, despite barely being able to keep my eyes open, I managed to spot, near me at the bottom of the pool, the one thing every Jedi needs to defend himself: a lightsaber!

Well, okay, it looked like a light saber, but it was actually a Play Day Max Liquidator Water Blaster. Close enough! I grabbed the liquidator with my foot. Now, I knew there was no way I could turn my head and get a clean shot at the Sith Lord, as the barrage of water just wouldn’t stop. So with my back to her, I put the barrel of the weapon on my shoulder, hit the plunger…

and blasted my wife right in the face.

She fell back, making a huge splash on her end of the pool. And since these Sith Lords never seem to finally die, I reloaded and blasted her again and again. Victory was mine. I could hear the celebrations on Endor and Bespin. For at least one more day, the Dark Side fell to the Light.


P.S. I imagine Evi may have an issue with the characterization of me being the hero in this story. If so, I more than welcome her to start her own blog to write about it.


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  • July 11, 2022