A Message From My Mom to My Wife
If there was ever an event, occasion, or holiday that snuck up on you at the last minute, leaving you without an appropriate gift or card, there was an excellent chance Mom would have you covered. I can’t tell you how many times I procrastinated buying something for someone and she’d say, “Hey, I have something that you could give her. How about this jewelry box? No? How about this basket of body washes? No? How about…”
Mom had all that crap because she was always trying to spread happiness, even if she didn’t know yet who she wanted to make happy. We’d be walking through a Target or Bath and Body Works or flea market and I’d randomly hear, “Oh, this would be great for a newlywed!” or “This would be perfect for a new parent!” or something similar, then she’d just go and buy it. Her house was like a Hallmark Store Outlet.
God, I miss her.
We lost Mom to pancreatic cancer in February of 2015. Thankfully, she got to meet my then-girlfriend, Evgeniya. Mom, weakened by the chemotherapy, told me she really liked her and I should “keep her”. Unfortunately, she passed away nearly a year before Evi and I got married. She didn’t get to experience having a daughter-in-law for the first time.
Earlier this year, Evi and I moved from New York City to Cape Coral, Florida, where we’re living in the house I grew up in, helping to take care of my dad. Space is an issue, so we’ve been trying to clean out and organize areas in the back bedrooms to make them more useful and practical. This meant cleaning out my Mom’s Hallmark store. While digging through some pile of stuff, Evi pulled this out:
I was stunned.
Did Mom know?
I was with my mother almost every moment from when I bought a next-day flight to Florida in mid-January to the day she died, and I know she didn’t go on any shopping excursions. Maybe it’s just a coincidence. Perhaps she was just walking through a gift store one day and said, “Hey this would be perfect for a future daughter-in-law!” Heck, for all I know, she might have bought it a decade ago.
Or, maybe, Mom really is getting to experience having a daughter-in-law for the first time.
It wouldn’t surprise me.
I love you, Mom. So does Evi.
This made me tear up a bit but in a good way!
Your blog looks great! At some point, perhaps incorporate some youtube clips?
You mean of my standup? Because I’ve figuratively dropped off the face of the comedy Earth.
I miss your mom too.
She was certainly special.
And you know my story. I have had so many people tell me to write blogs. I like poetry. And I like to write. Lol But for real. If you ever need someone to write about losing their mom. A blog of sorts. I have many. And poems that I wrote. We are not alone. You are amazing Joe!
I started blogging in 2005, then stopped, then started again, then continued that stop-start pattern ever since. I’ve always looked for the perfect outlet for my creative writing and never quite found it. Maybe this is it. Maybe not.
No matter. What matters to me now is that it’s become sort of a diary now. It’s funny reading my old blogs because not only do I get to see what I was up to at a certain point in my life, I can also see how much my writing style has changed.
I need to write. If I wait too long to write again, I get jittery. Hopefully you’re not that bad. But if you feel you have a talent and want to nurture it, then hell yes, blog. It’s good for the soul.
Thank you for the compliment.
As all of your essays about your mom do, this brought tears to my eyes. I miss her and I never knew her. I can only imagine how much she’s missed by all of the people she touched. I’m sure she’s bursting with joy over Evi & the baby.
I think you and I both know it sure-as-shootin’ wasn’t from Grandma Flo.