5/25/22 Journal: Morning Time Block!

Evi is loading the kids into the van to go to the gym as I type. We have a membership to one here in Cape Coral, and I’ve been there so frequently that I’ve forgotten the name of it. It’s stupid that I’m not going; I think I pay $50/month for my family. $20 for Evi to work out, $10 for child care, and $20 for my Personal Fat Tax.* But I keep on not canceling because I keep on convincing myself I’ll “start next week”.

*Stolen from an old Christian Finnegan bit

I used to enjoy going to the gym early in the morning, as recently as two years ago. It was one of the only times I got to drive anywhere with the sunroof open and windows down while blasting Master of Puppets. I’d put my time in with the weights and cardio, get a protein shake, then marvel at how it was still only 7:30 AM. I’d drive home the same way I came, but fantasize I was driving a much cooler vehicle. No girls, you can’t have the hot 49-year-old Asian stud driving a 4Runner TRD Pro; he already married a model. Looky no touchy!

Esporta? Lasporta? Our gym’s name is something ‘sporta’, but I can’t remember and I refuse to Google it. Whatever the hell it is, I need to get my ass back in there. The only time I could possibly fit it in my schedule is early in the morning, and that’s the time I’ve dedicated to this stupid blog. And I haven’t been able to wake up early enough for that! I had a great vacation, but I have not been able to reset my sleeping schedule since.

I guess I need to timeblock my mornings. Here’s how I think it’ll go:

5:30 AM: Alarm goes off. I mumble something like “fuck off you piece of shit” and hit snooze.

5:39 AM: Alarm goes off again. I have an internal conversation about who decided that nine minutes counts as a snooze. Who the hell gets any relaxation in nine minutes? I hit snooze again.

5:48 AM: Alarm goes off a third time. I start getting guilty feelings about how I promised myself I’d be up at 5:30, and while 5:39 is close enough, 5:48 is more like “almost 6 AM”. I really should get up. I hit snooze again.

5:57 AM: Alarm goes off for the fourth time. Evi punches me in the back and mumbles something to the effect of, if my alarm wakes her up one more time she’s going to rip my testicles off. Knowing this is my last opportunity to wake up at a time with a “5” in front of it, I stumble out of bed.

6:00 AM to 6:30 AM: I make coffee and write a shitty blog.

6:30 AM to 7:30 AM: I work on either my book or the animation project I’m working on with three other creators.

8:00 AM to 9:00 AM: Gym, Metallica, 4Runner or Bronco fantasy.

9:30 AM: Start my business day!!!

That starts my business day a little later than I’d like, but I think it gets enough hours in, and I’m not giving up my bitchy snoozes. Speaking of my business, I need to get to it now. I promise I’ll start posting earlier soon. Around the same time I start going to the gym.

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